because I like nostalgic stuff packed with warm fuzzy feeling...

My top three to-buy shows for the next few months:

- The Gay Divorcee (1934), or any other Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers musicals
- Ninotchka (1939), by Ernst Lubitsch, staring Greta Garbo
- To Be or Not To Be (1942), by Ernst Lubitsch, staring Carole Lombard

I can't find them anywhere =( I've got a bad feeling only NUS library has them, and alas, I am no longer a student =( WHY don't they sell black-and-white classics with brilliant banter in stores at all? Roar.

I think I might also like the BBC TV series of Pride and Prejudice, and the later version with Keira Knightly, too. It's easier to locate them, but I'm still pining for my top three buys. I don't even know if they come in DVDs. Maybe they sell them in LDs or tapes or something =(

Would also like to own Speaker for the Dead by Orson Scott Card, and Diana Wynne Jones's Archer's Goon. And Dan Simmons's Olympus. My top three book treats should I ever locate them in stores :D And thereafter The Amber Spyglass by Philip Pullman to complete my His Dark Materials collection.

On my list of further readings:
- Foe by J.M. Coetzee, or any other book by the same author besides Age of Iron, which I already own
- Any Margaret Atwood book excluding The Handmaid's Tale
- Playful Phoenix: Women Write for the Singapore Stage (1996)
- Lit-crit texts on Diana Wynne Jones :D

Looks like a decent list for now :D I'm really quite starving for my lit and film texts. I've got a ridiculous urge to take a day off to shop in the old textbooks section of the NUS Co-op :P Or smuggle myself into the library and flout DVD copyright rules. *eyes gleam* Ahahaha.

Okay I better shut up before I get myself arrested for announcing my probably unfulfillable intentions.

Final Sem Results

Oh my goodness. -reels in amazement- I don't know what to say... but this has gotta be the best semester out of all my 4 years in NUS. I have never got a straight row of one single alphabet before, not even for A Levels.

Perhaps I really should have taken up all 100 percent CA modules from the start. And Reprod Health is genuinely a surprise, even more so than Narrative S. But this has been a really really lovely semester--interesting modules, great lecturers, fantastic groupmates :)

It's a lovely way to end the four year run, and I'm infinitely grateful for it :)

ISM COMPLETE

I FINISHED MY ISM!!!!!!!

CAN YOU FEEL THE WAVES OF SHEER EXHILARATION?

BEHOLD MY TWENTY SHEETS OF NEWLY-PRINTED, FRESH CRISPY PAPER! *heart* (of which only 14 pages consists of actual essay)

Okay, okay. Chill. I've still got two tests to study for, and I must begin now.

5-Element Plot Constituents

1. Exposition: I didn't write my customary triumphant post-essay entry because I finished the essay at 6.20am

2. Complication: Only had time to make do for a 20 min nap for the entire night before I haul myself out of bed and head off for class.

3. Conflict: Skip class for more hours of sleep or attend class for participation/quiz grades?

Eventually hauled myself to class at 7.30am, the world feeling muted and surreal, the brain feeling woozy and the limbs feeling slow. I was actually 15 minutes early for class.

Guess what I heard when I stepped into a sparsely-populated class, feeling decidedly happy that I didn't kill myself in an accident on the way?

4. Climax: "Let me repeat this again for people who just came, I have decided to postpone the deadline for the essay to next Friday."

5. Denouement: *stabs self*

Post-essay

OHOHOHOHO! I AM DONE WITH ONE ESSAY! JUST ONE MORE TO GO BEFORE THE WEEK ENDS!

And thereafter, approximately 1 essay per week till term ends. But I shall not think about that first.

Now I can officially extract myself from this crowded area. Weeeee!



I'll probably have to be back tomorrow (or today, strictly speaking) for another thousand-five. Which will hopefully be a decent piece that retrieves a decent grade, but lecture's been so fluffy I don't know what to expect, or how to write. But I will fret over that eight hours later or something. Now I shall prance around before the moment of fleeting happiness passes me by.

Quite sore that I missed prac today. I was so looking forward to singing, and meeting the rest of the folks as well, but I have a sneaking suspicion that attendance was probably crappy because everyone else is term-papering. As I was telling my mum, after she roared at me for vegetating before the computer for several hours at a stretch, (because she knows I'm so gonna get a migraine and radiate unhappy vibes and walk around holding my head and mope noisily)-- I can't really complain about late nights and etc, because wherever you go, there's always someone who slept less or has more essays (or lengthier essays) to do.

I need to catch up with my reading, and maybe write less useless stuff here. I'm still stuck in Red Mars, at the longest section dubbed "Falling into History". They seem to fall forever--it's just pages and pages and pages of alien science terms, and they have yet to assassinate the main guy. I feel like killing him myself already, if only to shorten the story. That aside, two long books to cover before Monday, and the last ISM draft. *cringe*

K, must give the throbbing head a good rest. Everyone jia you with the abysmal workload! =)

Re-realisation

Today I (re-)realised that

- I'm glad I'm studying a subject that is concerned not merely with the body, but with the soul human spirit (Ed.: I guess this term is more politically correct) So take that, you job interviewers and relatives and people who go Oh. at my chosen major! This shall henceforth be my answer to whoever asks me again why I do lit!
- Time spent with friends is never time wasted, because it keeps you anchored to who you are, as opposed to merely what you do.
- I love my N.Structures groupmates! :) :) :)
- If I'd watched Be With Me alone I'll weep buckets. It's not the words... it's the silence that tears at you.
- Children's lit tells me more about the world and about people than anyone would ever expect. Why do we invariably turn into the angsty moronic realistic adults that we swore we wouldn't be?
- My sense of self varies with the people I am with. (To Miss C.Tan if she happens to read this-- WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? COME ONLINE LAR!)



- I've been giving myself too long an extended break after the tests. I MUST begin an essay soon. Like asap.

Monday

I didn't go for Amplitude!

*weeps*

So wished I was there! But judging from the flood of emails it was a blast :) Congrats, you folks! I'm glad you guys had a tremendous lot of fun... it sure did translate into the great performance I heard that you guys put up, eh :)

And I see lots of delicious wardrobe-pictures *laughs* Sheesh, this is making me miss singing at UCC all over again. But no matter, there is still VO3 at UCC in June! *beams* I know I've said this before, but I love the dressing rooms!

In other news, I survived two tests today! Popped by the honours room proper for the first time this semester (discounting the times I poked my head in to say hi) and dinnered with Beni and Stefan and Kim, where juicy gossip and extreme hilarity over a certain "Eng Huat" ensues. (I bet two years down the road nobody will remember who Eng Huat refers to, but never mind -grins-) I must say, though, that Benita and Stefan's biblical vision involving Dr H driving a mazda takes the cake. I think I can imagine where I'll be spending future Monday evenings. *grins*

Went for Wai Lun's senior recital today, too-- arrived in a fluster some 10 minutes late (I thought it was UCC, hmm, and properly confused the security guard with a non-existent recital until he realised I was talking about YST) only to discover an entire troop of Reso folks stranded outside, late, as well. *grins* Recital went not bad, overall... loved the slower lingering melody in one of the first-half pieces (was it Vaaren?), but I think our protagonist seemed decidedly more at ease in the jazzy second half. Thereafter we all waited outside and demanded his autograph like proper fans should, much to his bewildered disbelief.

So yes, that was it for the eventful Monday... Back to random online nonsense before I conk out properly and catch up on much-needed sleep!

isming

How do you write a 3,000 word essay? I'm doing my 2/3 draft now, or rather, 3/5 of a draft... after 2,000 words I feel like I'm squeezing blood out of stone. After 2,400 I wanna gag blood myself. A massive struggle later (it's only 500 words more to almost 3,000! go go go charm!)... I'm at 2,600 words.

WAH LAO. I feel like drowning myself. That's like 2,400 more words to 5,000. HOW can people write so much? Quote obsessively?

I'm submitting this portion of the draft anyway. I need to re-read another two books and come up with another essay's worth of information. Maybe next week, after I finish re-reading 10 books for my two tests on Monday, collectively worth 75% of my grades. Makes you feel like exams have come early, doesn't it?

Plus 400 pages of Eco to go. *wails* How can I go for Amplitude at this rate?!

But one must always be grateful. At least I didn't choose to do a 12,000 word thesis, which would have got me running to Dr A's room with a knife wailing STAB ME! STAB ME! at the end of the term.

Okay, to bed. Interview tmr at some financial advisory thingie-wingie. All so hush hush. Gee. I hope it's not a kidnap ploy.

Anecdotes

This update is for KK, who is apparently feeling bored (who ask you to finish your books so fast! slowly read mah) and said that I very long never update already, so there you go, new reading material :P

I am a horrible procrastinator! GAH. Spent more time than necessary revamping the terrapins' habitat today because their plastic container had a severe leak and needed to be changed, and there was no decent container of the right height for them. (Okay lar, it's also because I was tired of sitting in my chair and fretting over having to rework the ISM *sheepish*)

After I was done my brother came home and revamped it again, so now the box-with-a-pool that houses my terrapins looks like a mini children's playground. You would've mistaken the steps-and-slopes-and-slides-and-shelters layout for a hamster enclosure by the time he was done. The little critters just shot me their usual grumpy look ("wah lao, how come I need to stretch and climb everywhere now?") when I last checked in on them, but they were able to navigate fairly well nonetheless, so I shall rethink the funky layout another time, I guess.

I've caught up with my SF texts after being one text behind for the last lecture--Tepper's Gate to Women's Country was a pretty good read, took about two days or so to complete. I attempted to cut time by reading on the bus, but it wasn't the most conducive place to absorb a new text:

... a darkly cloaked figure moving along a cobbled street, the stone sheened with a soft, early spring rain. On either side the gutters ran with an infant chuckle and gurgle, baby streams being amused with themselves. The cornice buildings smiled candlelit windows across one another, their shoulders huddle protectively inward--though not enough to keep the rain from streaking the windows and making the candlelight seem the least bit weepy, a luxurious weepiness--

"THIS RISING, THAT RISING!" TV mobile bellows. "Luckilee I got myself this sofa for only four-nine-nine!"

A skipping seawind brought scents of early spring flowers and pine and she stopped for a moment... Was this to remind her of something?

"Hi! I'm a single 24-year-old looking for a special companion. I cook, I clean, and I promise to be home before seven every day!"

I lasted until Heartlanders came onscreen, with Vincent Ng's crisp Singapore-accented English conversing with Irene Ang's chirpy Rosie-like replies "EH, orh-fee-cer! ... WAH, ISSIT!" and decided to give up. So much for atmosphere-- the first strains of aching melancholy in the opening of the text fizzed out when the Satisfied Courts Customer announced his spoils. Gah.

Got a call this afternoon from a company at the career fair.

"Hi Charmaine!"
"Hi?"
"I'm calling from ___ company. Are you graduating this year?"
"Uh... yes, I am."
"You did a survey for us at the recent career fair, and we'll like to invite you to come down for an interview for the position of financial planner."
"*bewildered* I did?"
"Yes, at the career fair! We're ____, a ___ company, and we're currently looking to recruit graduates who might be interested in a position in our company. If you'll let us know whether you'll be interested to come down for the interview, [etc]."
"Er. I signed up for a... financial advisory... er... thingie?"
"*patiently* Yes, you helped us to fill a survey form at the career fair at NUS."
"Oh. Um. I'm sorry--What company did you say you're from again?"
"_____."
"And you guys do this financial... advising... er *drifts off*... thingie."
*patient explanation*
"Oh. Hrm. I don't... I think... *still bewildered* Eh. Okay, I guess."
"When would be a convenient time for you to come for the interview then?"
"... Friday afternoon? 'bout 3?"
"Okay... *typing noises*"
"Yup."

*long pause*

"Er. Would you like to know our address?"
"OH! Oh. Yes please. May I have your address?"
"____"
"Thanks!"

*pause*

"So you know how to come?"
"Er. No?"
*gives directions patiently*
*writes*
*pause*, then, "I'm sorry, your company is... *hurriedly recalls name in time* I mean! May I know how to spell it?"
*repeats company name again*
"Ah yes. Ok ok. Thanks!"

Sheesh, the kinds of telephone conversations I have. Am surprised if the person over the phone wants to hire me at all after that, goodness. Admirable patience still exists in the world, methinks.

On another absolutely unrelated point-- I've been hooked text twirl (a sort of anagrams word game on facebook) ever since Alicia introduced me to it... you're right girl, it's fun, but so terribly addictive! Help, I need to be weaned off that game until all my deadlines are over!

Tuesday

Today’s the Tuesday of mid-sem break, and we had our first group meeting for N.Structures. Love the group! Am so glad for Su and Liza and Kim and Gurpreet and Benita. I’ve often thought that it’ll be cool if Su gets to know Kim, because they remind me of each other sometimes (super infectious chatter!), plus Kim’s like a fizzy drink full of bubbling energy, it’s hard not to get high as well. And they don’t have to watch their language with one another, for one, since none of us have what Su calls “virgin ears” *laughs*

So there began the most engaging project meeting ever, with some discussion on work, LOTS of bonding and stories and opinions and other random juicy stuff, hurhur. Prof.T would have been proud of the sheer number of narratives we swapped in those couple of hours.

No surprises there, certainly, but after project discussion officially ended and half of the group left, Liza Su and I continued chatting for the next 3 hours straight–-about almost anything you could think of. Amazing. I’ve known Liza since year 1 sem 1 from our EL exposure project group, and I’ve never quite remembered talking to her this much before... I shall henceforth dub this The Su Effect =D Made me really realise that it’s quite a pity I never got to talk this much to Liza, or most of my Lit folks before. Sigh, the friends I’ve missed out on! Su’s a super wonder lar! I seriously need to fix my conversation making skills… I’m such a reticent talker! Mostly because I never ever quite know what to say to anyone, save for people whom I am already extremely comfortable with. It’s an evil cycle, I tell you. How to be comfortable with anyone if you don’t talk to them? My ice-breaking phase is an average of like, 2 years. Highly disturbing, methinks.

Ah well. Something for me to think over while I leave off this entry for a bit =)

Feb Update

The Cherry sister asked me to update, so here I am!--albeit feeling a little sheepish because I haven't got an idea what to write about, but we'll see. Long-winded rambling often comes in useful at this stage! =D

Let's see... what happened in the past week? Valentine's Day came and gone, of course, but to be frank it didn't feel very Vdayish-- I only spent long enough time in school to catch a couple of bouquets, (which made me wonder, rather perversely, what do you actually do with them a few days later-- throw them away? I've attempted to keep a bouquet of roses--hung them upside down to get dried flowers--only to get yelled at for keeping a hoard of weird-smelling stuff in the room, after which the poor flowers had to be banished outside and finally to the bin, because I didn't know what to do with the dismal black petals that emerged a few days later...) But I digress. And should anyone began to glare at me and say "But roses are romantic!" I shall declare of course that yes, certainly they are, and one should keep the ladies happy and the economy going all the same, save that I'm still troubled about things that don't go on living for long after Vday, but that's just me being me. Perhaps it is the temporality that makes flowers so beautiful :)

Where was I? Oh-- so I came for a highly entertaining reproductive health lecture on contraceptives, with lots of rather alarming stories of what young doctors encounter in the A+E after the population had their share of various Valentines' Day trysts. Goodness. Of which (and allowing me to digress again) it might also be interesting to observe that I've been getting quite an overdose of sex education this semester from my modules. Reprod health aside, Sci-Fi and Metafiction novels have offered quite explicit scenes that would make my parents reconsider the delicacies of literary texts. Then again, most scenes have been more disturbing than anything else, with their symbolic meanings and intellectual dilemmas begging to be unpacked in every act, so--- not quite as kinky as when one reads outside the literary framework, I'm afraid.

Sigh. I would keep digressing. Vday night was spent preparing to 拜天公, but the neighbourhood was strangely silent most of the night... I would've thought there were more families observing the traditional ritual. It's always fascinating to watch the beautifully crafted paper-palace and paper money burn, starting with green-blue flickers that turn into orange-yellow flames soaring more than a metre upwards, with smoke carrying the ashes so high it almost seemed as though they were really swirling towards the sky.

(Nothing much happened on Friday, saved that I smelt strongly of smoke from the night before--but of course this is not relevant.)

Over the weekend I ism-ed, so Monday I was bereft of sleep and semi-high in general. I realised that I could sit through 9am seminars fully awake from the first minute to the last--which never happened last semester--so I gathered I must be much more fond of these modules than I ever was of Research Workshop, or 18th Century poetry, which, along with Asia Mods, made me feel extremely backward, inept and badly read--hence extreme anxiety and stress abound. Infinitely grateful for this semester's modules, which are difficult, yes, but also more engaging, somehow. And I don't feel like a misplaced honours student so much :)

Friday was another rather long, slowish seminar, and I'm extremely glad to have the grape sis there to make the hour easier to pass :) We actually had time to calculate the budget of a certain related concert *grins* But for all the complaints of the trudging pace of this module, I'm really grateful for it, because it gives me less stress and more time for my other mods in general *relief*

Which brings us to Friday night! I am actually quite fond of production meetings, long as they are, because they give me a kind of reassurance that things are moving along, and that we've involved as many different people as we could in planning and making things work out =) And I'm immensely excited about our newly assembled boyband! *beams* Such potential! If this doesn't sweep at least half (the female half) of the theatre away, I'll... eat my books.

Okay. I won't do anything of that sort. Still. A lot of VO3 is gonna be exciting, so do come for the concert, okay? I have good vibes for this one, and we have capable people at the helm, so don't miss out on it :)

K, updates for a week-and-a-half! Still got little admin stuff to tie up, so till the next entry, ciao~!

Help.

It's really incredibly funny in a perverse kind of way, that kind of ha-ha funny that makes you want to weep at the same time, when you look at a 5-digit projected expenditure and an expected max profit of 100 bucks. I confess: I do not know what to say, or how to salvage the scenario.

Now I understand, with painful clarity, the need to have genuinely experienced people around--seniors, or seasoned performers, or otherwise-- to actually give your proposal a glance, and start roaring "NO LAR, CRAZY AH" before you decide to, you know, jump off a cliff with a hang glider that still has lots of holes in it.

Since the cliff is already picked (and a bloody high cliff it is, too), I guess all we've got to do is to attempt to patch up the holes.

Eeeeep.

Trip of the day

Ever since the new canteen's been built, there would be every once in a while when I'll trip and almost fall on the canteen steps. I don't know if there is a precise step that is perhaps 0.5cm higher than all the rest, but then I haven't seen anyone else trip along the stretch, so I gathered the fault probably lies with me.

The fact that I am blogging such insignificant information, however, probably means that this queer and unwelcomed routine had been interrupted. And so it was. Tuesday evening I tripped... and fell.

It has been a while, as I told Azi and Jy later, since I've ever had quite a spectacular fall as this. Having been conditioned to a series of near-trips on the stairs, only to regain my balance in a giddy rush, I hadn't believed in that two seconds that I really was gonna fall. Instead of dropping my hands to break the fall, therefore, I flung out both hands to grab onto something solid to stop the fall-- except that my hands missed the solid handrail and hit the not-so-solid plastic dustbin, which of course rocked forward out of my reach in a series of noisy clops.

Thus my poor left knee got most of the impact, hitting and scraping across the rough patterned stone floor.

I am glad I did not squeak in shock, but the clatter at which my belongings and I landed and the accompanying rumble of that not-so-solid bin already did the job of drawing alarmed looks from passer-bys, darnit. I glanced round long enough to see two girls who froze in mid-conversation to stare in shock, then promptly averted eye contact and climbed to a standing position. There's no way to look dignified when you pick yourself up from a fall, I realised with some annoyance-- my barang barang kept me from rising gracefully from the steps, so I had to compensate by pretending to sweep imaginary dust off my skirt (while swallowing the awful dismay when I caught sight of the freshly-bleeding abrasion, which was beginning to throb in earnest), and walking away sedately from the accident scene, nonchalantly sms-ing as if nothing really happened.

I'll leave out the messy details about washing the endlessly bleeding knee in the isolated toilet as I recovered myself. At that point in time there was not much room to choose which hurt more--my knee or my dignity. Like HOW EMBARRASSING IS THAT LAR! :( At this age my psycho-motor skills still continue to astound me. The last major fall I had (we shall prudently leave out toe-jabbing and bruises and unintentional head-banging and walking into furniture because they belong to another category of accidents) was in first year, when I was out doing newspaper collection with my seniors. Two seconds after spotting a road barrier with a low-hanging chain, and consciously telling myself not to trip, -WHAM- I walk into the chain and end up knee-first on the concrete road.

Ah well. As of now I'm gonna be confined to wearing long pants and jeans for the new year. Was complaining pitifully to my dad that I can't even run on the treadmill because it's not knee-friendly (though I must confess I wasn't really that miserable about skipping exercise in particular :D).

"Oh, but you can," he told me with a grin, pacing on the machine. "You'll just have to run like this--" *does a curious, limping gait on the running treadmill*

*grumbles* I really ought to keep the frequency of these little accidents down--even my parents are developing an emotional immunity to them. Gah.

Trip of the tongue

Presentation over! *throws confetti*

Turned out fairly well, I think... Managed to get through nearly the entire presentation with no major trips.

Nearly, yes, because towards the very end, the weird-sounding science-fiction-ish terminology (Anar-res-ti, Ur-ras-ti, Oi-ie, Sa-i-o, Si-mul-ta-ne-i-ty, Ha-i-nish, comparative-cultural-anthropology, fundamental-complexity-and-relativity...), and the sheer speed at which I was reading them, got my tongue so tied up in knots that I tripped over-- of all things!-- my lecturer's name.

"So to conclude, here's just a very brief summary again of the main thrust of my argument. Like Prof cut-ke-cup-tup-pup-pup-- Prof cut-pak... SORRY! I mean..."

The class dissolves into laughter. Prof P, at the side of the room, looks slightly amused.

"Woah, I'm sorry! Tongue got a bit--blah. Let's try this again." *deep breath* "As I was saying. Prof. Pat-Ke mentioned that..."

Gah. I was blubbering plosives like a motorcycle that refused to start, right before the class of 30-odd students. (Classmate to me later after class: "Were you gonna say Prof cupcake?" -_-) So embarrassing lar! I was nearly gonna panic when I couldn't string the two syllables of his name together in that terrifying suspension of 10 seconds.

Yet on hindsight it did seem funny, haha. I'm glad the class is amused, actually-- for most part of the seminar they were comparatively more silent than usual (probably because a good number didn't finish reading the book :P), so it was a relief to hear them laugh :) Ah well, all's well that ends well... I'm immensely grateful. Now I can crawl back to bed and sleep off this throbbing headache :)

Unexpected

Was walking past a classmate today during seminar break, and much to my surprise, he offered a polite greeting, "So how are things?"

"Er," I replied, a bit thrown off, because I have never actually spoken two words to him before. And as it is with most unfamiliar people, I do not make intelligent conversation. "Good. So far. I guess?" Pause. "How's..." Pause. "How're things coming along for you?"

"Oh, okay," he replied. Then, very quickly, "Look, I want to apologise for what I said after your presentation during Dr (-)'s class the last time."

My head reeled. My presentation was in week two of last semester. And I cannot for the life of me remember what I said, or what he commented.

"Oh but it's okay," I protested, "I don't exactly remember what it was about, really." A nervous laugh. "And you can say what you think, anytime."

"Oh, but," he continued earnestly (and this is the difficult part), "I commented on how the (something) was feshist-istic, but what I was referring to was the idea raised in the presentation, and not your presentation itself."

Ah. I remembered. The comment, at least, but not the presentation, or the context. Mainly because I was standing in front of the class feeling very alarmed that I didn't know what "feshist-istic" was, and had made a fierce mental note to go home and check out the dictionary. Anyhow, for the record, my prof had stepped in to save my soul then.

"It's really okay," I told him honestly, "That was so long ago! I didn't even remember it till you reminded me! *laugh* And it's really okay." (Was I supposed to say "I forgive you?" But I still haven't checked out the meaning of the word yet. Fetish, was it? Or fascist?)

Much as I was glad I'm making a new friend via this strange conversation, I was feeling a tad bad-- that he should so sincerely apologise for something that I didn't realise was supposed to be offensive. Oh dear. Makes his feeling-bad redundant, doesn't it?

It struck me too, that this friend didn't seem like a person who finds it easy to make apologies. Which made me feel doubly bad.

I resolved, for the second time, to return home to check the dictionary. Apparently "feshist-istic" doesn't exist-- even my dear fellow editor KK, who was highly amused with this tale for some reason I cannot fathom, didn't recognise the word.

KK says:
check dictionary lah!

C says:
i'm going by the pronunciation... i don't even know how it's spelt!

KK (that unsympathetic woman) says:
hahaha
you can ask him

C says:
*horrified*
i then don't want. he will be flabbergasted at my ignorance
and call me other long names that I don't recognise

(we pause for a moment as KK continues to be highly amused)

C says:
is facist pronounced as fa-shist?
K says:
yah it is

*brightens* There you have it! "Fascistic", then, most likely... Dictionary.com says:

fas·cist /ˈfæʃɪst/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[fash-ist]

1.	a person who believes in or sympathizes with fascism.

2.	(often initial capital letter) a member of a fascist movement or party.

3.	a person who is dictatorial or has extreme right-wing views.

–adjective

4.	Also, fa·scis·tic [fuh-shis-tik] of or like fascism or fascists.

*brightens more* I like (3). It will be the first time anything that is related to me is described as dictatorial :) I could work towards that now-- dictatorial, that is... not fascistic.

Or maybe that word was facetious-- that is, lacking seriousness, or not to be taken seriously. Or fetish, perhaps?

I'm sounding dreadfully ignorant already, but I did think it would be polite on my part to at least understand what he was so anxious to apologise for, to make the effort to apologise valid, so to speak. Especially since it was something that had occurred that long ago. He's said plenty of harsher stuff-- or at least more impassioned stuff-- to other folks, what. KK suggested that I probably gave "that 委屈 look that charlene always accuses you of when he attacked you."

Must have been quite a potent look then, to have haunted his conscience from week 2 sem 1 to week 3 sem 2. Oh dear. This is very disconcerting. Now to come to think of it, I did probably look injured without intending to do so. It's the deer-caught-in-headlights bewilderment more than terror, really.

So I ended the conversation the only way I knew how-- the apologetic smile and gesture towards the door-- "I gotta head out a bit--before the break's over." Now upon hindsight I am hoping I didn't look too terrified in my startled state, and unintentionally add on to his already burdened conscience. -_-"

So that was that. Very small situation rewritten in the most lengthy way possible. I think I've been reading too much wordy stuff. Which reminds me-- more wordy novels await. I shall thus depart, and hope that the above-mentioned person never chances upon this entry, for his sake more than mine. He would probably puke blood and die at the utter ignorance displayed, and I'd have again been guilty of causing him grief without intending to =X

But in any case, the bottom line would be that I really did appreciate the thought, even though i hadn't understood it--and I do hope it is not injurious so say so.

Day One

I'm currently feeling a tad ashamed about rattling off the list of texts I've read the past few weeks, because it just occurred to me that no matter how many books I lap up it's not gonna be impressive--it's just merely meeting expectations. Dr A came up to me on the first day of school, post-seminar, to ask if I've managed to get my hands on more DWJ books, and while I rattled off a couple of new ones I've managed to read, she nodded agreeably, then promptly continued, "What about this text? and this? and the other one?", (most of which I haven't yet read-_-'') and then cheerfully asked me to drop her a mail to let her know which ones I haven't already got, so she could pass them all to me. *sweats* Which recalled her comment couple of weeks ago that "You shouldn't have problems with that, they're all fairly thin books anyway." (Which is of course true if you compare them to the 500/600/700 -paged texts in my sci-fi course.)

That got me spending today finishing up Deep Secret in a hurry, thanking my stars that I am genuinely fond of DWJ's books, and that I hadn't picked something like Historiography or Modernist Literature or hard-core sci-fi or some eighteenth-century author that rattles on and on for a lifetime. Was out like a light yesterday after the six-hour intensive brain-sizzling over two heavy-duty seminars. By 4pm my head was spinning with a headache, but was nonetheless still fairly optimistic towards the coming semester, if a tad apprehensive. Dr P was absolutely hilarious in his wry, ironic comments and minor digressions, casually slipped in without so much as changing his expression. The only time you could tell that he did find his own comments extremely funny was when he pauses briefly to collect himself, the corner of his mouth threatening to twitch into a smile, as the rest of the class dissolves into laughter. I don't wonder why both his and Dr A's classes were wildly over-subscribed, even though they come together in an abysmal 6-hour Monday, starting from that awful 9am slot.

So that was the first day of school. Am taking a breather now but should probably be back at work already, so till the next post~!

Abysmal

Okay Miss JY, you're right... this module is really "the Prada of bags". My my, am I gambling with rich people or what?

And it's only the first day of Round 2A. Who's ever gonna be able to afford to take it with me?

If I DO get outbidded with my showhand of thousand six hundred, then I don't know what to say already.

Stay tuned for updates!

Huh. I can't believe my timetable. If I were to pick Language, Gender and Text over Narrative Structures, I will effectively have one exam only-- on the absolute last exam date of the term.

That means people will have finished 5 exams, and I wouldn't even have taken my first paper. Gah. Or maybe I'll spend my reading week studying only for some irrelevant science module that I'll s/u.

3 non-examinable modules leh! That adds up to how many essays again? =(

This is terrifying. I should just apply for my level 5000 module.

And I want someone to take History of Film with me, but I haven't got anyone who's keen yet. Huh, I don't want another film module alone.

Well, at least next sem's modules look way more interesting than this sem's.

I really shouldn't be online-- I need to study, but I figured I'd better write to Dr A first, as according to the instructions on the letter. Which got me to explore the E Lit website, and be amused at the new pictures of lecturers =D And then I began to browse next semester's modules.

If Metafictions was not situated in the evil 9am-12pm slot (on a Monday morning! Hello?) I wouldn't have second thoughts about taking it, at all =( But looking at my unintelligible, unreadable squiggles on my lecture notes for both my 9am classes this semester... =(

The department is evil *sob* Even the two cross-listed EL modules that I wanna take are 9am seminars! And all their exams end really late *stomps about in utter annoyance* Like when everyone finishes exam, you haven't start your first paper yet. Gah.

I have this crazy urge to take a level 5000 masters level module again. Someone please tell me to 不要做傻事。

But I must say I'm really glad my exams start late this semester-- wouldn't have made it alive otherwise, given that my last deadline was just yesterday morning. Need time to mug one lor.

Speaking of which, must sign off now. 1am! And I'm two texts behind schedule!

Take care you all, and stop procrastinating! Hurry get back to your books (after you leave a note, that is =D)

Quick breather

I'm DONE. *beams* Now I can start studying like for the first time this semester. My first essay-free week--almost.

As if to remind me that this isn't quite over yet, last night I saw a letter from the Dept of E.Lang and Lit. And because I don't often get letters I opened it with some enthusiasm (yes, even in my mid-essay stupor) and was informed of a successful application for my independent study module, and instructed to contact my supervisor ASAP.

The first thing that came to mind was "Huh?" with the question mark, and then "Huh." with the full stop, and then "Huh!" with the exclamation mark. You must understand that the rest of my vocabulary had to be reserved for my ongoing essay then, so that was about as articulate I can get.

But now that I'm free--temporarily, of course-- it's both quite exciting and unnerving at the same time, this official confirmation letter for the ISM. I got my Children's Lit! And Dr A! =D But I really have no idea what to say to her now, really...

"Dear Dr A... Guess what? I haven't really decided what texts I want to do yet. Please don't kill me. I haven't talked my brother out of burning essay questions for me yet."

So yeah. More news on that another time, after I've summoned enough courage to speak to Dr A.

The other exciting thing that happened this week was the release of PSLE results. This year we have an astounding 294-pointer topping the level, and 15 pupils with aggregate scores between 286-288. Because there are so many of them this year, ST decided they were no big deal really, so we don't get our usual interviews with top student #2 and #3. So sad, hor, to score like 286 and people say "aiyah, 15 other people did as well as or better than you, what."

I guess that's why minimum entry scores for mid-range secondary schools have been rising, like everything else in Singapore-- bus fares, GST, property prices-- and neighbourhood schools have invariably become brand names, reaching new highs with sparkling new value-added aggregate scores.

Very scary. Spent one-and-a-half days of my non-study break carrying out research, interviews and lengthy discussions on which school to pick for my brother. It is during periods like these that you realise that kind of extensive network of friends/relatives/unknown sources your mum has. Even more powerful than my own network of schooling friends =X

I still feel a tad blah about skipping open-house talks to do essay--it's really quite fun to explore schools, you don't usually get to do that-- but my parents did manage to attend a couple and everything's decided as of now: brother is quite content, dad is approving, and mummy is convinced enough to sleep easy, so that's that.

So. On to the exams, and then to hols! (and ism proposal)