Unexpected

Was walking past a classmate today during seminar break, and much to my surprise, he offered a polite greeting, "So how are things?"

"Er," I replied, a bit thrown off, because I have never actually spoken two words to him before. And as it is with most unfamiliar people, I do not make intelligent conversation. "Good. So far. I guess?" Pause. "How's..." Pause. "How're things coming along for you?"

"Oh, okay," he replied. Then, very quickly, "Look, I want to apologise for what I said after your presentation during Dr (-)'s class the last time."

My head reeled. My presentation was in week two of last semester. And I cannot for the life of me remember what I said, or what he commented.

"Oh but it's okay," I protested, "I don't exactly remember what it was about, really." A nervous laugh. "And you can say what you think, anytime."

"Oh, but," he continued earnestly (and this is the difficult part), "I commented on how the (something) was feshist-istic, but what I was referring to was the idea raised in the presentation, and not your presentation itself."

Ah. I remembered. The comment, at least, but not the presentation, or the context. Mainly because I was standing in front of the class feeling very alarmed that I didn't know what "feshist-istic" was, and had made a fierce mental note to go home and check out the dictionary. Anyhow, for the record, my prof had stepped in to save my soul then.

"It's really okay," I told him honestly, "That was so long ago! I didn't even remember it till you reminded me! *laugh* And it's really okay." (Was I supposed to say "I forgive you?" But I still haven't checked out the meaning of the word yet. Fetish, was it? Or fascist?)

Much as I was glad I'm making a new friend via this strange conversation, I was feeling a tad bad-- that he should so sincerely apologise for something that I didn't realise was supposed to be offensive. Oh dear. Makes his feeling-bad redundant, doesn't it?

It struck me too, that this friend didn't seem like a person who finds it easy to make apologies. Which made me feel doubly bad.

I resolved, for the second time, to return home to check the dictionary. Apparently "feshist-istic" doesn't exist-- even my dear fellow editor KK, who was highly amused with this tale for some reason I cannot fathom, didn't recognise the word.

KK says:
check dictionary lah!

C says:
i'm going by the pronunciation... i don't even know how it's spelt!

KK (that unsympathetic woman) says:
hahaha
you can ask him

C says:
*horrified*
i then don't want. he will be flabbergasted at my ignorance
and call me other long names that I don't recognise

(we pause for a moment as KK continues to be highly amused)

C says:
is facist pronounced as fa-shist?
K says:
yah it is

*brightens* There you have it! "Fascistic", then, most likely... Dictionary.com says:

fas·cist /ˈfæʃɪst/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[fash-ist]

1.	a person who believes in or sympathizes with fascism.

2.	(often initial capital letter) a member of a fascist movement or party.

3.	a person who is dictatorial or has extreme right-wing views.

–adjective

4.	Also, fa·scis·tic [fuh-shis-tik] of or like fascism or fascists.

*brightens more* I like (3). It will be the first time anything that is related to me is described as dictatorial :) I could work towards that now-- dictatorial, that is... not fascistic.

Or maybe that word was facetious-- that is, lacking seriousness, or not to be taken seriously. Or fetish, perhaps?

I'm sounding dreadfully ignorant already, but I did think it would be polite on my part to at least understand what he was so anxious to apologise for, to make the effort to apologise valid, so to speak. Especially since it was something that had occurred that long ago. He's said plenty of harsher stuff-- or at least more impassioned stuff-- to other folks, what. KK suggested that I probably gave "that 委屈 look that charlene always accuses you of when he attacked you."

Must have been quite a potent look then, to have haunted his conscience from week 2 sem 1 to week 3 sem 2. Oh dear. This is very disconcerting. Now to come to think of it, I did probably look injured without intending to do so. It's the deer-caught-in-headlights bewilderment more than terror, really.

So I ended the conversation the only way I knew how-- the apologetic smile and gesture towards the door-- "I gotta head out a bit--before the break's over." Now upon hindsight I am hoping I didn't look too terrified in my startled state, and unintentionally add on to his already burdened conscience. -_-"

So that was that. Very small situation rewritten in the most lengthy way possible. I think I've been reading too much wordy stuff. Which reminds me-- more wordy novels await. I shall thus depart, and hope that the above-mentioned person never chances upon this entry, for his sake more than mine. He would probably puke blood and die at the utter ignorance displayed, and I'd have again been guilty of causing him grief without intending to =X

But in any case, the bottom line would be that I really did appreciate the thought, even though i hadn't understood it--and I do hope it is not injurious so say so.