So what do you believe in?

Er... yah, so I was curious. Religion always kinda fascinates me, and I do hold a lotta respect for all these sacred beliefs, even though there are things I believe in and things I don't. And I guess we shall leave it that way because I don't see the point in vehemently arguing which is better, and more valid, and more likely to... um... promise you a space in heaven, or something like that. It disturbs me when they say that non-believers will all go to hell... I mean, what happens to your loved ones then? Those kind, nice, good people you meet in your everyday life?

Okay, let's not start a fierce debate here... I'm not condemning any religion or putting anyone down, mind. Reverting to the topic at hand... I was curious as to whether there was actually a religion that came anywhere close to my mixture of values and beliefs adopted from differing religions, and literature ("Religion is the opiate of the masses"?), and science... so... *shrugs* here goes:



Your Results:


The top score on the list below represents the faith that Belief-O-Matic, in its less than infinite wisdom, thinks most closely matches your beliefs. However, even a score of 100% does not mean that your views are all shared by this faith, or vice versa.

Belief-O-Matic then lists another 26 faiths in order of how much they have in common with your professed beliefs. The higher a faith appears on this list, the more closely it aligns with your thinking.

Rankings:
1. Unitarian Universalism (100%)
2. Neo-Pagan (94%)
3. Liberal Quakers (88%)
4. Mahayana Buddhism (88%)
5. Reform Judaism (75%)
6. Jainism (73%)
7. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (71%)
8. Hinduism (71%)
9. New Age (69%)
10. Sikhism (68%)
11. Theravada Buddhism (65%)
12. Secular Humanism (57%)
13. Taoism (56%)
14. Bahá'í Faith (54%)
15. Orthodox Quaker (48%)
16. New Thought (46%)
17. Orthodox Judaism (44%)
18. Scientology (40%)
19. Islam (38%)
20. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (35%)
21. Nontheist (33%)
22. Seventh Day Adventist (29%)
23. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (29%)
24. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (26%)
25. Jehovah's Witness (22%)
26. Eastern Orthodox (21%)
27. Roman Catholic (21%)

Hmm. Interesting. You can try it out at
http://beliefnet.com/story/76/story_7665_1.html if you like... meanwhile I shall check out the explanatory links in a moment...

Major declaration?

I need to sign up for my lit group! Ahhh! but not everyone's replied yet! Ahhh! Respond, quick! Call me!

*sigh* I wanna do my one ton of readings but am too much of a procrasinator to have started on even a pageful. And the Jungle Book 2 is on Disney channel tonight. *groans* Okay. Shuttle downstairs for dinner first, talk later.

______________

Am feeling rather oxymoronic now. You know when you blog you're suppose to do it spontaneously right? And that is maybe what I aim to achieve, but then I just deleted two paragraphs of messy ramblings because of ungrammatical sentences and because there's no flow in there, therefore it doesn't make enough sense. Aiyah, pardon my little idiosyncracies, but when it comes to putting pen to paper--or fingers to keyboard--I am disgustingly particular about what I say and how to get the proper feel across. And sometimes this zaps off a lot of my spontaneity, which is really rather aggravating, because it defeats the purpose of blogging. I think. Though one of the reasons I blog is to help me organise my thoughts, indirectly. Hm.

Whatever. That's not important.

So, a few things to say. Firstly, I'm still not into the studying mood yet, for goodness knows what reason, which is rather disturbing because we're easing into the fourth week of the semester. Already. Almost one month! Hello? Do your readings! Quiiick! START to input info! AHHH!

And secondly, as illustrated by previous paragraph, I would need to un-kancheongfy myself and focus a lot more. I'm just so distracted by the entire world, doing precisely what my teacher told me not to do: let my mind hop all over the place, swinging easily towards any little random thought or event and lacking the cool discipline to keep it still and focused and aware so that I can work everything out systematically. Humph. Bad, bad girl. Gotta sit myself down to meditate instead of having my heart and stomach do impressive flip-flops at all the horrific last minute work.

Am still messed up over what I want to major in, even though I started out with more-or-less the thought of majoring in Lit. But what can a Lit major do, besides teaching? I don't wanna teach if I cannot give the kids the best they can ever get, and when it comes to Lit... A good tutor is essential to hand over the keys, to open the first of many doors for each kid to explore the text, then the characters and their society, then by extension themselves, and their society, and the many, many layers that entwine and have to be carefully entangled and explored to discover the multiple little ironies that make up the world we live in. And more. It's just this delightful, insightful journey of self-discovery, to borrow a rather cliched phrase, and constantly demands from you a deeper understanding of what we often take for granted around us. And so you learn, and question, and challenge, and work towards a better future, hopefully ;) Okay. It's kinda humongous a task, and I'm not sure if I could assume it, but my lit tutors have done pretty admirably so far. (Where was I? Crap, carried away again. Oh yes, major-lit-do-what.) There's working in the media of course, journalism, censorship board. Maybe they'll let me write for a magazine like Reader's Digest. Or National Geographic. I'll like that a lot =) Or that vague general thing called publications. Or, well. I dunno.

See? And why would they want to employ a lit student above, say, a communications studies major? An info com major? An EL major? A soci major? But I would like to think that (and no offense to every other major, I'm working things out for myself k) Lit means passion, a more aesthetic perspective, a new refreshing point of view, something very much a part of the arts: flexible, ever-changing, yet always applicable, relevant... it's about yourself and it's about the world around you, it's about understanding and feeling and being... It's about making abstract stuff normal and making familiar, taken-for-granted stuff strange, for a closer, more objective observations. It's about knowing where to look: the truth is always within, not out there, it's about learning and realising and accepting...

I'm rocking myself into this lullaby of sorts, justifying and paving my way towards what I want to do. Despite English being the more practical choice because basically, if you can become a trained linguist, you get to earn big bucks. And big bucks to any human being is always a good choice. *sigh* How far can your passion feed you, I wonder? I mean, if I wanna sing acappella for a living or something like that I probably could (provided that my singing improves first lar), but
if I want my parents to retire earlier and have a good life and let my family enjoy little luxuries now and then... Then...? Doesn't being a trained linguist and earning 90 bucks per hour training people like Cheryl Fox to speak presentably on broadcast TV sound like a good idea? Or going into speech therapy and working with little kids on their pronunciation? That'll be nice, too. (Not taking into account falling asleep a lot during lectures and squinting at phonology and getting down to the nitty-gritty details of morphology and lots of dry, technical, science-ish stuff.) I like English as a communicative language, in all its prettiness and flow and the way it can paint beautiful pictures in prose and poetry, but slip into that jargon-filled technicalities and my interest starts to wane. Can I persevere through 3, 4 years of detailed study without looking back to regret?

And then there's soci, of course. Interesting, intriguing, and very much like Lit, except maybe less abstract and more 'acceptable' to the general community. (Crap lar, what's wrong with Lit anyway? It's just about as cheem as any other subject you take in NUS, and it's not irrelevant lar, abstract as it seems.) Soci is a tempting major too, cultures is fascinating and so is this study of society and human beings and relations... I definitely can live with that, too. But so many people are taking it! a lot of competition, leh. Why employ you when they can employ the next soci major that comes along, right?

Aiyaaaah. Anyway. I planned to spend only one paragraph yakking about this, not... *counts* 4 ultra long paragraphs pondering. Cos obviously there's one thing I prefer over the rest and I'm just trying to get someone to say "yes! yes! Go for what you like! it's good and practical!" Like a certain friend of mine asking for advice on whether she should go arts fac or science fac when you can tell where her heart is liao ;) *shrugs* We'll take things one at a time. It might be Lit, it might be English, it might be Soci. It's just this in-between phase lar. Once I've thrown my lot in officially I won't turn back anymore. Yah, like how I dumped Comm Studies for Arts fac. Not regretting =) I would've been stewed there lar, basically.

Okay. End off now. More readings. Decisions next time. Oh yes, and I went for a haircut today. Trimmed my hair and snipped my fringe. Gosh, I look so guai and demure now, it's scary. Fringe is too short! And because I have such thin, fine, little hair I daren't go dye or highlight it, else it may--heaven forbid-- all fall off and leave me with no hair to complain about. *touch wood* Meanwhile it shall stay nice and natural with variations only in length. (I wanna keep it long!) By the way, the last time I tried to perm it, it straightened by itself in three days. Hai. Anyhow, I am reminded of the days back in Sec sch when I'll ask people to guess what CCA I'm from and they'll guess Library. Jeez, stereotypes, stereotypes. Maybe I should indulge in ah-lian skirts and pretty ribbons and neck-bands and tube tops and gel up my hair. Hah! Then people will die of shock. Which is not very nice, come to think of it. My mum was listening dubiously to my complaints and asking "so, how much more pai4 can you get anyway?" Oh well. Image is stuck for good.

Bit of trivia info, not that you need to know... The last time I had almost-long hair was in Pr 3. Check it out!



I adore this picture ^_^

So tired! Zzzzzzz...

Yah am at the comp lab now, printing notes... free for the next three hours before marathon tutorial lectures for 5 hours, followed immediately thereafter by prac.

I'm looking forward to prac though :) I wanna sing sing sing!

Shall find a corner to curl up and rest. And hope that today's movie won't give a migraine.

Yep. Keep updating your entries, ppl~

Karanguni~

Newspaper collection fund-raising today was tiring but fun, mainly cos of the super lively and very delightful company =P Seems like there's always something incredibly funny to laugh about even though I can't recall much content now, but the memory of the crazy ha-ha-ha-ing over goodness-knows-what gives the whole day a nice feel-good touch. Yah, although the venue had to be at Bukit Panjang (!!!) and so many people pang seh! But oh well, that's not to be dwelt upon... Anyhow for our super late well-deserved lunch we shared Indian rojak and fries and desert and drinks... for five hungry, thirsty and exhausted girls, it was probably one enjoyable feast ;) And the ice-cream! Someone should have been there to see how we went bounding out of the lift and out into the car-park screaming "Ice-cream! Ice-cream!"

Apparently collecting newspapers does weird things to you...
... or maybe we were like that to begin with. ;)

Okay lar late. So super exhausted, shall drop off now and work on my tutorial early tomorrow. (Please wake up early please wake up early) Bit rushed, didn't exactly do the day justice with this short short entry, but can't be helped: tutorials start tomorrow and I haven't touched my readings. AHHH! So ciao for now, till next time!

Migraine, Film, TS, and other such stuff =)

Woo! Look! Wonders of wonders! Charm blogs again!

Of course I'll be blogging when I'm supposed to be doing something else, like check out my readings, do online research about important new terms that I don't understand, and read my textbooks from cover to cover. Unfortunately I'm not as hardworking as I seem so here I am, after a late night prac, type-type-typing away. Who knows, I might continue note-worthicising the score for Under The Boardwalk after this, like I did two nights ago.

Which reminds me. That was kind of a big mistake, typing notes into Noteworthy well into a Monday night-- or Tuesday morning, rather. Was dead drowsy for the 9am TS lect the following morning, and by early afternoon my almost-migraine for the past three days surged into a full scale one. And nothing quite kills a day the way a migraine does--the pounding head and the rising nausea and the burning eye-ache... Idiotically determined as I was to sit through two hours of film lecture followed by two hours of film, I was of course rewarded by an escalating, head-splitting migraine. Of course, it most certainly didn't help me to appreciate the film any better. It ached so much that even the unexpected, hot, sizzling sex scene three-quarts through the movie didn't make me feel remotely embarrassed or awkward--head leaned heavily against one hand and eyes massaged by the other, all I wanted at that point in time was for them to get it over and done with and cut the amplified gasping and giddy, blurry images. Hello? I'm not interested in what you do behind your bedroom walls... I mean, you can always do it the corny 'subtle' Mediacorp way by filming flapping curtains or closed doors or blurring lamp lights. That kinda thing.

Okay, I digressed... that was so not an important point, and I had been feeling unfairly negative towards the movie because I was dying to shut my eyes and let the sleepy unconsciousness ease the struggle in my head, which, amazingly, I managed to achieve--temporarily--during the one hour ride home in 151. At least I had enough energy to bathe and eat and even check my tutorial allocation results before collapsing into bed, dead to the world. Wow. I pulled through without swallowing a single panadol pill.

Okay, so all I wanted to do was to whine about my headache, but since I've mentioned the film I might as well do some justice to it, in case I leave you with the impression of us watching porn during lecture. Yah, ouch. Of course we don't lar, the above-mentioned scene didn't last for more than five minutes and all we saw were faces, and of course, if you take it from the lit perspective the film had a point to make from such a scene as well... somewhere along the lines of critiquing the fact that Hollywood puts scenes like that into the movies to make them sell, an audience-drawing tactic (and what does this say about society?). The Player, apart from being quite a pain to watch at that point in time, is in fact a quirky, witty play that turns Hollywood conventions on their heads and does a neat roundabout twist on your expectations after building them up with such in-your-face, farcical, thriller-suspense-romance elements. So the show practically shoves the moral of the story at you, and pretty stylishly, too. Pretty cool, on hindsight. Funny show. Appreciated it, and no, I'm not watching it again ;) Seriously, though, if you want some laughs, appreciate irony, and wanna do some thinking ("But what about reality?") then you can give it a try. =)

Oh, yes, Sharon and I popped in to say hello to Dr G just for the fun of it. Quite funny, really, because it started kinda awkward, when we knocked and opened his door
*chirpy greeting* "Hi!"
*surprise*"Erm... hi?"
"...... Yah *pause* ... Hi!"
*confusion* "Hi... hi?"
What unconstructive conversation. Haha. Between the lit students and the lit teacher, too. Oh well. But I guess we had fun later asking him random stuff about books and timetables and modules and little unrelated things... Lit teachers do have such fascinating collections of books on their bookshelves. Maybe I should start my own collection of intriguing, uncommon, oddly abstract books as well, and scare everyone else (whoa, check out the funky stuff I read!) =P We left his room briefly thereafter, though, cos he need to do research in the library, while he tried to recall our names on the way there. He managed to get mine right, surprisingly, but didn't manage to get Sharon's right until we prompted him. Okay, nothing strange with that, of course. What was startling was when, some 15 minutes later, while Sharon and I were queueing for food at the canteen, he apparated right behind us, out of the blue, and went "It's Lim!" Huh? *directing to Sharon* "Your surname is Lim! Lim SF! I remember now!" ....... Needless to say, he gave us quite a scare. Hahahahaha... But come to think of it it was pretty hilarious... was laughing for quite a while after that...

Yeeep, so that was Tuesday. Wednesday-- that'll be today (yesterday?) we had our first TS practical. It's a delightfully interesting session, involving lots of moving around, mirroring, learning little bits and pieces of stage actions and drama that I was barely accquainted with before. I guess what kind of shook me during the lesson was the part when our instructor was narrating a scenario and we were acting it out and investing our emotions into it... the class was so into it that when he reached the awfully vivid, tragic climax, you can feel real sadness around you, and within as well, perhaps even something more. It made me think about loss, and death, and tragedy, and, beyond that, how people react to them sometimes... Then I realised that I've always been so guarded about showing raw emotion that it's painfully difficult to act it out, sincerely, to cry with wild abandon at losing someone you love dearly, to pour forth your sorrow and express it as you feel within (and what if you don't ever let yourself do it within, too?), to really show your vulnerability and your fear and place it all out in the open for all to see-- yes, and you know you have to show it to a huge audience, too... how do you act this with sincerity when you don't even allow yourself to do so in real life?

Plain, raw emotions are sometimes penned into my offline diary in the still of the night, or sobbed away under the blankets where no one sees your tears, or even tucked far away in the corners of your mind so you wouldn't even have it surface. Eventually with time it will ease, the rain stops, the clouds clear, the sun shines. Time, lots of time, while you leave your emotions to lie dormant, untouched as far as possible, so that the swirl and the sweep of time will wash it off, bit by bit, until only a quiet echo remains. Strange then I need to dig so deeply within and bring them all out again and feel them to learn and to act and to move others... *sigh* A big, big challenge. But TS'll be a precious learning experience, I think, and I want to see how far I can draw myself out, if only to learn to be more expressive, more confident, more daring. Truly hope I'm up to it, but still-- ouch, ouch, ouch. Hai. No matter, we'll try our best and see where it takes us.

Okay, lessons aside... I'm getting a new laptop! After months of deliberating. Ohohoho... just think of all the interesting things you can do... no more squishing around in the computer room waiting for places to work on your project. And no more screeching matches at home when both my brother and I wanna use the computer. And lots more little things that add up to a pretty decent deal, I think. ^_^

Learnt a new song today, too. Uninvited is a haunting, beautiful, challenging piece, and ouch, I cracked horrible at my high Ds and sometimes Cs even though I'm fine with my high Fs and Gs. How do you stop yourself from cracking at a certain note when it's at an awkward position at which you change your tone placement? Quick, quick, gimme a solution... cos Uninvited opens with 20 consecutive high D notes and pretty much hovers around that area for the rest of the song, and if I don't overcome sounding this awful all the time I'll be too distressed to listen to the other parts... Ahhhhhh! Gotta practice more... Anyhow, to look on the brighter side, challenging pieces often bring greater satisfaction if all goes well ;) And I like this piece. Pity most of our batch weren't around to learn it today. Hm. More songs tomorrow... Looks like more prac is in order for faster (let's hope!) improvement for all. Wouldn't exactly mind singing more ;) As long as I don't aggravate my parents lar. The ENTIRE family has now taken to waiting up for me-- mum, dad, brother, grandma, uncle... And some of them need to wake up early next morning too... I feel so bad for reaching home late -_- Trying to figure out some way to reshuffle my timing. How-ow-ow...

Oh shucks... 1.20 liao... Weeknight some more... Okay, that's that for updates, more news in future... For all Hougang-ians, please prepare piles of newspapers, tie them up and stack them nicely outside your door, Resonance will be coming on Sunday to collect newspapers to raise funds. Remember hor! (Yah, like how many people from Hougang read my blog... *shrugs*) Till the next time~

Of chords and connections

Read the conversation through, and I wondered how I should react.

It's crazy lar, so many things I don't know how to react to. Sometimes I choose to notice what I want to notice, and be content with the selective awareness, but it's kinda scary when you realise that others do it, too, to a certain extent. We all do. Else how ought we to face this crazy world?

I can't sing in Cons anymore this year, because of a promise of family commitment, one that I would really like to keep, but still I listen and watch and wonder. And hope that musical harmonies may bring people together and keep them together. Happily. And then I realise that melodies are get more and more complex the longer you spend with it, the more familiar you get with it, and sometimes there are clashes... Tension and resolution, that's what you call it in music. That's what makes it all so beautiful, so memorable. But what if there's tension and no resolution? Like those weird contemporary pieces that are sometimes so discordant? Like what I see from... elsewhere?

Opinions are good... the more the merrier, right? But what if there are strong, opposing opinions from different people standing on different perspectives? Will it ultimately shatter a group of people? Powerful things blaze brightly but last not. Ought we settle for something plainer, be content with what we have, so that things remain mellow and the chords remain straight and easily pleasant?

But this is all just talk--what can I do anyway? I am not a powerful creature that can single-handedly alter situations, and I do not wish to be. And things are becoming increasingly less related to me... will the memories fade into just a distant echo of two very different songs?

I just wanna sing, and continue singing... always, always. Please don't let politics and any other weird things taint the beauty of music. It's not a business, or some partnership bonded by a contract... Keep that in mind, okay, everyone? You are what make singing so deeply memorable, so protect it and let it stay that way.

Sing, laugh, eat, and relax. You know, I think these four things should always come together, in whichever order you prefer.

Laaate now. More thoughts another day. No wild guessing, okay, it's already self-explanatory enough... and PLEASE leave notes for goodness sake. It's tiring to guess how people feel about issues concerning us all.

(Another reflective one. Humph.)

20 minute entry

Challenge to self: write a ten-minute entry. No more, no less.

And the time starts... now!

Yep, so I was browsing on NUS modules listing to note down the locations of where all my lectures were to be held, and realised that 2/5 of my subjects are under the soci dept, and 3/5 under the English Lang and Lit dept. Nice statistic, wonder why I never realised it before, while I was furiously bidding away.

Anyhow I am glad I haven't got French, because I will be left penniless -- or pointless(?) after showhand-ing by programme account points. Which wouldn't happen anyway since I don't even have a thousand points to throw in. Bah. AND, I'm also glad I haven't got Science of Music, because Cultures of the Contemporary World, under Soci, sounded much more interesting, and cost much less.

Not that I'll be feeling any friendlier towards CORs, because, horror of horrors, tutorial registration starts real soon, and last sem hadn't been a good experience at all. Oh nonono...

Whoa, 5 mins up. Let's move on.

I've got a new phone! A sparkling new Nokia 3120 for just... *drumrolls* ... zero dollars! I think the only thing I regret is the loss of my composer... I was asking the salesgirl if there are polyphonic phones that still have the composer function, got a weird look in return, and was of course told that there was not, and that composer is not exactly the in thing now when you're going for a phone upgrade.

Awwwww. There goes my note-giving during acappella pracs.

Thus, I would like to request for a tuning fork for my birthday, in place of my much missed composer function in my most beloved five-year-old 8250. (My birthday would be about one week and ten months down the calendar, in case anyone needs a reminder =P)

Whoa~ Exceeded time limit. Okay okay before I go... Would like to encourage the rest of you to go for the next Budak Pantai concert... they sound good and are really hilarious and hugely entertaining ^_^ Met Yy, Nt, WH, Pw and Rs there as well when I went there with Char last Sat... Got a pleasant surprise, haven't seen them for such a long time!

kk... well over limit now... Nearly twenty minutes =( Hopeless at timed entries, cannot keep my rambling short and sweet. Gotta go now though, school starts at nine tmr, my first lesson of the year. Eeps! Till then, ciao~!

PS Leave notes lar, for goodness sake... my past entries haven't been very note-ful =|

More procrasination... I've written in my other diary, penned down long, detailed reflections in my offline diary, but I've yet to write here in my blog. Probably because it caters to a larger audience and it's hard to phrase thoughts into words.

In retrospect my life has been very much a guided tour, for while I tend to let the wind blow me in whichever direction it pleases, and the waves to bear me along their swishing currents with ease, my mum had always been there to steer me in the proper direction, into safer waters, towards warm, sunny lands, and I'm so, very grateful to her for that. I wouldn't have been where I am now... it is not easy to explain the years of scolding, nagging and warm advices, the long talks and the countless shopping trips, the many, many times I would automatically give her detailed sketches of parts of my life and await her opinion... Above all things I think she taught me how to feel, how to be more alive, to be aware enough of myself and of others... and encouraged me to pursue my passions, in literature, in words, in music and song, because, as she puts it, it teaches people how to be more human in his cold, hard world.

How true.

But now for the larger part I'm taking over the wheel, exploring and learning and comprehending the landscape in a different manner. It takes longer to reach a realisation when information isn't dished to you on a platter, but when you do come to reach new perspectives it's kinda... rewarding, I guess. Yah, it's weird to be growing up and being aware of it... it's something unsettling, something new, something to think about.

*shrugs*

...............

Jeez, this entry has all the makings of yet another long, reflective, sombre entry. I oughta pluck myself out of this mode, it gets really tiresome... I keep going around in circles and I have still yet to come to the point.

I guess, what I wanted to say is, after Saturday's AGM, I felt like I've just come to a humongous realisation. I 've been a bad, bad girl, and self-righteously so too, at certain points in time *cringe* and thus I haven't been injecting that spirited enthusiasm and ready dedication that I should have as a member, because I had unreasonably high expectations that I realised, now, were really quite impractical, hence I was sore with the repeated disappointments and took longer than I had to adapt. For that I apologise. Sorry =( (Okay, so it was mostly inward frustrations and I haven't been openly exuding unhappiness in my behaviour, thank goodness, but I still owe all an apology =|) I am, after all, an NY choir girl from the very beginning, and ought to take pride in Consonance as I had with the NY choir in the two years with them (but then again being Pres back then gave you a lot of reasons to be highly protective of the choir, what with all the obstacles we had to overcome together--thank goodness for the brilliant fellow com members--and the lousy school admin and the little conflicts we had to iron out and the emotional upheavals for concert and SYF...) Still relatively new to Cons, still a lot to learn, still need time to grow together, but we'll work it out, and Consonance'll work out to be bigger and better than before =) Oooh yes, as the famous quote by XH that's been going around everyone's blogs says, Cons is like a cockroach: we got bullied, stomped on, kicked around, but ultimately we still keeping coming back, resilient and hardier than ever =P All hail the big kah zua!

It's quite a dilemma really, but I really cannot join Con's concert production next year, having promised twice and thrice over that I will leave time for my family, and also because Res pracs would be twice weekly now, and perhaps driving lessons in the pipeline, with schoolwork on atop all these activities. But with any luck I should be back year end =) No promises though.

Okay, this is it for now, more on random stuff like the Budak Pantai concert, the lousy CORs bidding system, and updates on first lessons of the year in future. I really got to be more hardworking in updating my blog huh...

New Year. Reverted back to my old HTML, as you can see, but feel kinda odd looking at it, it's so not-pink now. Hmm. Never mind. It's pretty, still =)

Am thinking, either everyone is really busy, or they are not half as bored as I am currently, cos the number of tags and ripples I get is miniscule. Or maybe it's because of the reflective/melancholic/introspective/cryptic nature that discourages comment. *shrugs*

BUT. This is the beginning of a new year, and while happy-crappy-crazy is not quite where I am now (seriously... how did I get so high by simply blogging last time?) I'm more-or-less happy-wondering-reflecting. Am thinking if I oughta try to do a drastic change to my lifestyle: ie, sleep much earlier and wake up the time my brother goes to school. Which is 6, thereabouts... To breathe more dewy-early morning air, and perhaps even go for a jog.

Crazy idea huh, considering that I resent waking up early and jogging. *ponders* We'll work that out. Meanwhile I shall ponder over other frivolous issues like whether I should keep my hair long, perm it into loose waves, dye it brown and highlight it red, and scare everyone silly. *wicked laughter* But then again I wouldn't dare to look at myself in the mirror. Hmmph. Am hopeless with drastic changes.

Looks like an interesting, busy sem ahead. Am gonna take film and cultural studies, sociology, theatre studies, french and science of music. Kinda looking forward to it =) Am hoping for really nice tutorial and project mates, like for lit last sem =) And to get to know more people per module, too... Last sem the only tutorial that I found friends I still keep in contact with is lit. Sigh. Oughta learn to be more outgoing, take greater initiative, and the like... but compiling a whole new list of new friends per sem without much time to know anyone beyond surface interaction is quite daunting. Blearghs.

I think I'll be taking a break from choir for now, and focus on acappella-ing... Christmas hols was really pretty scary with two groups for pracs and performances to go for. Hmmm. That's that then. I do wonder what I'm cracking my head over, since everything is quite simply laid out and settled long ago in my head, with not much room for change if I want time for myself and my family, but sometimes an achingly familiar song over the radio on a chilly early morning -- well, yesterday, to be exact -- brought about this wave of nostalgia that quite shook me. The magic within a song never quite fades when you've spent so much time and energy learning, polishing and feeling it... and I do miss those times, you know. But we shall weave new memories =) I still have a long way to go and so much to learn... but I'm quite sure I want to continue singing all my life, with all these fellow singers I've got to know and like very much =)

*stretches* Okay, tired now. Have already upsetted the plan of sleeping early by blogging into the wee hours of the morning -_- But perhaps I'll wake up early still. We'll see. =P