I'm so tired of writing essays, I'm lying on my back watching the fan spin. At least there's something that's spinning faster than my head is.

Went to school to print my kinship essay after EL lecture and quiz today. Opened the attachment of the essay I posted from home and nearly died-- what I saw was the half-done version... which meant that either I didn't attach the right file, or I didn't save my full essay. Sheer possibility of an unsaved essay scared me half to death... spent my entire four days of break on it k? Thank goodness I found the completed version in my comp when I reached home.

I'm acting like a feverish nut over my beloved essays lar... This is madness. What am I doing? How's writing essays gonna pave your way towards a brilliant career? Anyway, my ambition is to be a voice-over for Hollywoood cartoon Blockbusters like Finding Nemo and Beauty and the Beast and Aladdin. And to sing the theme and accompaniment songs that you hear in those movie soundtracks selling for 21 bucks a piece.

I wish.

Goodness knows how you get there anyway. They usually hire well-known Hollywood actresses with sexy voices.

Oh well. Since this does not seem possible in the immediate future I shall go back to bemoan my tragic fate. And plan my next essay. And stare at my term paper. And squeeze some remaining time to study for Soci. You know, it's only one Lit module this sem with only two essays. What happens when I take four Lit module per sem? That'll be 8 essays to write! 24 books to analyse!

Majoring in English is beginning to look appealing now.

..........

On a more positive note, my air-con is working! Oh joy!

Okay, back to work.

PS Ignore the frivolous talk, Charm's just kinda stressed up.

Um, another entry, just so because I'm bored. Stoned with too much essay writing. How come it takes so long to finish a five page essay? Aw well. One down, one more to go. And one term paper. *cries* I don't see the semiotics... how how how?

I shouldn't be so whiny about things, but I get positively panicky when I realise I'm not quite there yet, there being average or above average. TS makes me panic quite a fair bit, because I'm so often not comfortable when I feel like I'm being observed and evaluated--yah, I'm so self-conscious I get on my own nerves--and acting, directing and understanding the nuances demands so much sometimes! It's not just "getting into character", it's more like you've spent your life living within the character and understanding what drives the character to act the way he does--every angle, every move, every touch... It's almost like psychology in action, and deeper... your analysis and performance has to plunge into the whole socio-history background and let it shine through your subtext and movement. *cries* It's harder than Lit!

Aiyah. My mum just laughed and told me that I'm so content being myself and being blissfully unaware of all the tensions swirling around me and automatically switching off my feelings when I choose not to see certain things that it's quite an impossible feat. Ouch. Ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch.

*sigh* But when I took TS I promised myself that I will take up the challenge. And that it's supposed to help me in some way. Okay, Charm will work harder and try to erase her awful self-consciousness. And be a lot more spontaneous. And act less stunned and look less sheepish.

Help.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Let's move on.

The weather these days is too hot for comfort. It's so hot that my air-con decided to bail out on me when I attempted to switch it on during a particularly hot afternoon, and it has refused to blow out any cool air since then. TOO HOT! *flops over and dies* The grass is brown and the trees are burning up... why can't it rain rain rain? Just a nice, long, cold rainy day to wash the air clean and to dampen the forests. Then I won't have to face the torture of taking the non-aircon 151 end to end on hot stuffy afternoons.

I guess the only thing I do appreciate about this weather is that the bougainvilla plants everywhere having been flourishing under the hot sun. Lovely bushes of pink and white and red flowering profusely. Oooooh I love them at this stage.

Nothing else interesting to blog, am heartily tired of sitting before the comp, have been doing so for the past three days for hours on end just to churn out one essay. My butt feels like it has been flattened out =( Too much sitting around.

To save everyone the torture of more whining moaning and groaning I shall blog another time =)

Yet another update

I'm crazy. I don't understand this automatic switching on of the comp and coming online to do... do... do what? There's nothing to do! And no one's updating blogs quick enough for me to read, so here I am writing my own. I can't believe myself, seriously. You would think if I'm itching to read and write I should go type out one of my essays. *pause* Yeah. That's what I should be doing. Aw, crap. But I've waded through a considerable amount of readings on kinship this afternoon while waiting for my brother at the void deck of the HDB flat just outside his school, at one of the rather comfy chess-tables.

Speaking of brothers... are the new generation of little boys behaving like total ah peks -- that's what I call my brother, btw -- or had I been a tad bit too cute and naive as a kid? Where do the get all their pompous airs and moralising and reasoning and long-windedness from? And why is he so concerned that I'm not attached yet? A ten-year-old boy, of all the people in my family. *rolls eyes* And his friends act like him also! They talk like they're discussing how business has been for the past economic year. Jeez. Kids nowadays have no life. Even my dad is cuter than he is sometimes.

Or maybe it's just me. Time to grow up, Charm.

Oh. Realised that I have kind of a huge family. Not that I don't already know, but when you try to draw out four generations is terribly... long. But Cultures is interesting! And so's tracing family roots and thinking through family structures and systems. Must start writing soon, lar. All the messy notes and rough drawing had been fun, but time to get down to serious stuff.

Practice tmr! Yay! Sing sing sing! I missed steamboat dinner with them today. Aw.

Millions of stuff to hand up and study for! A/P TM was smaaart to put the quiz on the Friday lecture I was so determined to miss. Cannot have a self-declared holiday on Fri despite cancellation of tutorial cos the lect quiz is graded. *tragic sigh* Crappy NUS system! Why are they so giam with the mid-sem break? 4 miserly "holidays" to finish a ton of graded assignments... apparently they count Saturday and Sunday into the "week-long break" so it makes six days in total, therefore we must return to school on Friday. Weird logic. Bah.

Oh, I browsed through Sunday Life!'s horoscope today. Apparently I should not get so hung up on to-do lists and assignments, and should leave them alone for a while, so that I can be witty, cool and funny. Hahahaha... was totally amused... excuse me, witty cool and funny won't allow me to escape from those generous helpings of homework... the tutors won't find it quite so amusing if I don't show up with something decent, but thanks for the considerate prediction anyway. I am a natural procrasinator, I slack off so much I worry for myself sometimes. And I do want to hand up quality work for the subjects I'm fond of, which, incidentally, is everything I'm taking this sem. YES, even EL, to a certain extent.

Go do homework Charm! Now now now!

I do want to write, but then I realised it's not exactly practical to broadcast... erm... sensitive doubts, or whatever you want to call them.

Where have you gone, I wonder...

Oh! Phyl and Mar dropped by today to pick up econs notes. Was pleasantly surprised to see Phyl... realised that I haven't seen her so far this sem, which is like... hmm... two months? Anyway it's good to see you both again =)

Haven't been for Cons prac for a long long time, wonder how things are like now. Of course, I've heard a few things, but I shan't repeat them, so there. *winks* Next SC gossip session: 26th Feb! haha~ GOOD. I missed you guys.

Reso prac last Friday was quite quite interesting, as usual. Due to the unusually high attendance rate of guys that day, us girls got to see the formation of a funky new boy band! Ahahaha... So funny... sorry peeps, I cannot stop laughing whenever I picture how you all looked... it was really quite a treat, and somehow they pulled it off pretty well, minus all the pitchy parts. They were really quite high that day, especially Jeremy (must be the sop part)... but then again, our dear tenor-girls were pretty high on actions for their Chinese lyrics as well... hahaha... must be a role reversal thing.

我们的故事 is a cool song =) I think after we get our notes right and after the altos (CAT? TAC?) get over their 'zhen nan waaaang' (without laughing like mad) it will be quite a thrill to listen to. ^_^ Woooo... singing makes me happy happy...

Oh yes, the munchie monkey's Vday gig pictures are up on the links at the side... another album to add to the collection. Pretty crazy bunch of people we are, and yes, I'm really glad I've got the chance to sing with them all... Do, mi, fa, fi, so, la, ti, and do, complete with corny theme song to identify the not-so-junior-anymore gang. Yes, that's where 'Re, a drop of golden Charm' came from, and I guess we've gotta thank so-derrick and cheryl-la for the unexpected and spontaneous... um... identity ^_^

So once again singing plays so essential a part of school life, like choir had in endearing me to NY, and in SN, too. And somehow, I'm glad it has. Wouldn't want to have missed it for anything else.

Dinner-time! Entry hasn't been as organised as I would like it to be, but I guess that can't be helped. Goodness knows I've got a lotta things to say still but have run outta inspiration now, so it's gotta wait. Till the next time then...

(Inaccurate?) Horoscope

Credits to Malia :) I don't usually add my comments to personality tests but this one kinda aggravates me. And it's not just because of the (argh!) grammatical mistakes... You'll see what I mean...

LIBRA WOMAN

Libra woman mostly has an egg oval facial shape. She has a nice smooth skin
and a good figure. (riiiiiight... where? I don't see it...!) She will spent so much efforts to keep her skin clean and pretty. She can be easily allergy to cosmetic and make up, but taken care of
her face and avoid wrinkle is her hobby. She is good at it and tend to look
younger than her age.

She can be very naughty like a little boy, but yet fully 100% woman. She
looks nice in either Jean or night gown. She thinks woman is equal to man. Sometimes she can think faster than you, but she will not leave you far
behind. She will try not to make you feel like you are competed or defeated
in any games she plays with you even she is winning.

She is a little flirt even she has no ide a what she wants. She can not
decide what to do, and what not to do, so she can not set her schedule very
well in all cases. (Disorganised? Yah, I am, kinda...)

She is gifted with how to dress, and how to match her dress. She likes to
dress in black and wear perfume. (Incidentally, I don't like to wear black at all... Charm likes reds and yellows and pinks... black is rather mournful...) She likes a mild flowery scent.

In any argument, she can really argue. She can argue for hours, and mostly
win the argument. (Like real lar... I resent arguments... I never actually had the chance to get a word in before, which really really pisses me off :) If it is not a serious argument, she could argue and once
a while give you a smile also. She will make a good politician, because she
can tell which party will win the election. (Um... PAP?)

She always has a good reasons ,even she likes to contradict herself. She can
not decide what is right and wrong for her, because everything has a good
side and a bad side. Woman in other Zodiac might not care what other people
think, but Libra woman care what other people ,or what you feel as much as
her own feeling. (Finally, something closer to the mark...)

She can adjust to her environment very well, so at work she will be at the
ladder up. She likes team work in doing things. If you ask her for help or
advice, she will help you except if she does not like your guts. She can
change you and make you think you change by yourself without her influence.

Good side of being with Libra woman are she never interfere with your
privacy. She will not make you loose face in front of your friends. Even she
cares about how much money she has left his her bank account, she will never
forget to let you know how much she cares for you.

She think taken care of the house is a woman job and she can do it well. (We-ell... I do like to wash dishes, but um... I'm not particularly keen on the idea of daily household chores) But
if you expect a Libra woman to fear you, then you are wrong. She is a strong
woman even she looks at you with that sweet innocent pairs of baby's looks
and may loose you (let you win) in a few poker games.

If she is the one you are after, then go step by step. The best way is using
her friends introducing you to her. Do not make her feel or treat her like a
bubble head. (HUH? Bubble head?!? Oh... I see it now: "Don't come any closer! No! One step forward and I'll pop!) You have to move forward toward her with confident and secure.
Show her that you are a kind , polite and a real gentleman. Be a slow hand
or else you might get smack!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I really would like to smack somebody. *cries* The grammer! The grammer! And, apparently, not only am I a flirt, I am also a rather manipulative and confused individual. It's practically screaming, "People! stay away from this dangerous Libra girl!" *gasp* The horror!

Okay okay, I'm really acting like a Bubble Head now, whatever that might mean *cringe* Leave notes, or else you might get smack!

Why can't I sit still and concentrate on my homework and readings for a while? Why why why? *freaks out*

Must study must finish assignments must pour loving tenderness into my books and notes. Must focus focus focus. No more holidaying...

*releases a long breath*

I hope.

More long, sensible entries only if I have accomplished something or other. Else distractions like this are off-limits to you, Charm. Do keep that in mind.

Adios~

Quiz

You scored as Verbal/Linguistic. You have highly developed auditory skills, enjoy reading and writing and telling stories, and are good at getting your point across. You learn best by saying and hearing words. People like you include poets, authors, speakers, attorneys, politicians, lecturers and teachers. Musical/Rhythmic 82% Verbal/Linguistic 82% Intrapersonal 71% Visual/Spatial 50% Interpersonal 46% Logical/Mathematical 36% Bodily/Kinesthetic 29% The Rogers Indicator of Multiple Intelligences created with QuizFarm.com

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Haha... it was a tie between musical and verbal! But verbal still won during the tie-breaker. *shrugs* I still have a long way to go though. More reading, more writing, more listening, and most of all more sing-sing-singing!

By the way, since we're on the topic... the Resonance not-exactly-juniors-anymore are performing at NUS Munchie Monkeys on Valentine's Day. Yeeep, it's this coming Monday... time to be confirmed... but hey! Drop by if you're free, k?

Next prac on Friday! *anticipation*

Happy Chinese New Year

Happy Happy Happy New Year to one and all, peeps! :)

To all the friends who's made a difference to my life just by being who you are... thanks so much ;) You're loved!

Cool test

The Sonnet
Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer (DGLDf)

Romantic, hopeful, and composed. You are the Sonnet. Get it? Composed?

Sonnets want Love and have high ideals about it. They're conscientious people, caring & careful. You yourself have deep convictions, and you devote a lot of thought to romance and what it should be. This will frighten away most potential mates, but that's okay, because you're very choosy with your affections anyway. You'd absolutely refuse to date someone dumber than you, for instance.

Lovers who share your idealized perspective, or who are at least willing to totally throw themselves into a relationship, will be very, very happy with you. And you with them. You're already selfless and compassionate, and with the right partner, there's no doubt you can be sensual, even adventurously so.

You probably have lots of female friends, and they have a special soft spot for you. Babies do, too, at the tippy-top of their baby skulls.


ALWAYS AVOID: The 5-Night Stand, The False Messiah, The Hornivore, The Last Man on Earth

CONSIDER: The Loverboy

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Whoa. O...kay... Not gonna comment too much on this, other than... whoa. Really. You go figure ;) Free? Take the test and tell me where you belong :P