3am, and my head is spinning...

Brand new record for Charm! She lasted for her Lit proj till 3am! *cheers* How fantastic... never stayed up this late for homework before.

Maybe I should really major in Lit. Last night I died off at 1250 for maths and never finished studying. Yay. Today's test is a goner. So's yesterday. Crap.

Let's see how long I can last for tmr. My packed 10-6 day =(

*flops over and dies*

What's your inner faerie?

The faerie of water. You have a laid back attitude,
and take life as it comes. People come to you
when they want to hear the truth, even if it
hurts. You will always be there when someone
needs you. People sometimes think you have a
cold heart, that's why sometimes you can also
be known as the Ice Faerie.

What's your inner Faerie?
brought to you by http://www.quizilla.com
Quizilla

Wei... what cold heart... *grumbles* and as for telling the truth even though it hurts... hmm, I must really do that more eh?

updates

I'm gonna change my blog layout soon soon soon. It's in the works already. In fact it's completed, saved up and kept for use for early/mid Oct... at least until 49 days are over. It's the least I can do I guess. Why that sudden impulse to change... well. People behave in weird ways when they get stressed. When it comes to me I would compulsively ignore what I have to do for a couple of hours, maybe more, and throw myself into a totally unrelated task. Which is not good actually, because it implies that 1. you are a procrasinator and 2. you're in severe denial, or something along those lines. Funny how I can be aware of that and still do so, but I don't care. I have finished mucking around with my English project (at least for now) and am halfway through my extremely tedious Lit so I WILL give myself a break. Even though I haven't studied for any of the upcoming tests. Oh, crap.

Now, enough of complaining. Few observations... 1) A cappella camp was fun. Busy and terribly time consuming, yes, but I gotta make friends, and we learnt a couple more songs, amongst several other rather technical stuff (ooo sound mixing!), so I guess it's quite all right.

2) Yi tian tu long ji is a very nice show. I haven't watched tv for a long time... well okay, besides random episodes of channel 8 after-dinner shows... but yi tian tu long ji is worth watching =) It only plays on weekends anyway, so let me indulge a little.

3) Speaking of which, I unlocked my disney/nickledeon/cartoon network channels yesterday and watched a considerable amount of cartoon shows. I think it's a bit scary how cartoons are able to capture my attention span for a much much much longer time as compared to... ah... normal shows, however you address them. And I find reality TV boring, believe it or not. They talk too much and do too little ^_^ Don't tell me I need to grow up, because I realised that growing up into an adult doesn't make you any more mature or more intellectual or happier or more... morally upright, if that's the way to describe it. It's like what they warn you of in children's books, how people often forget the child they used to be, and stop questioning, stop wondering, or simply just stopping... to breathe, to feel, to be.

I digress. Anyhow. The Hunchback of Notre Dame 2 was on Disney channel yesterday so I faithfully sat through the whole of it =) Weehee. Brings back a fair bit of fond memories of our Hunchback medley way back during Synergy. And I realised I still do miss singing choir-style. A capella is fun, doubtlessly, and I do believe it will get more and more interesting still, when events come up and when bonds are established, but I do still miss singing with my batch of choir people and with Amadeus, that, and the after-choir activites--lunches or dinners, talking our way home, laugh-laugh-laughing like the siao char bohs that we are deep down inside(!!!) ;P weaving memories and sealing friendships with every new conversation. I always felt that singing has that awfully unique ability to bond people, with every blend and every clash... every phrase and every note is an experience shared, and I delight in that =) Doesn't mean I treasure what I have with me now less, it's just that absence makes the heart grow fonder, as always.

*Sigh* Okay, time to sign off. Too much talk. And I'm sorely tempted to pon lect tomorrow to study at home. I should, right? *evil grin*

That's that for now. Till the next time, peeps.

Singtel is a stupid company. Lousy customer service. Cheat my money... charge my smses even after I called in to change my plan two months ago and then give me the "Oh, but we have no records of your call". Got a tremendous shock when I saw the phone bill. Sometimes I wish I have the ability to scold people up down left right and centre. THEN I can do an impressive soprano shriek down the phone and have them know what exactly I think of irresponsible people who did not do what they were supposed to yet act cool and nonchalant when confronted. But as it is I didn't, and I'm highly disappointed in myself.

I need to work on expressive my temper in more colourful ways. Really.

So it's Singtel above all things bad and ugly now. They do so take turns to be in the limelight. Damn. Bloody idiots, all of them. No, not just Singtel. But as it is, this is a public blog and I shall refrain from naming names. But there comes a point in time when people ought to go back and reflect on their stupidity.

(Whoa surprise, surprise~ She swore! She really did!) *rolls eyes*

Sorry. But it gets tiring when one is assumed to be the one taking up the role of sympathetic listener to other ranting, raving people but is not allowed to lose her temper freely. *takes in a deep breath and blows it out slowly* Not now, either.

It's awful when you really feel like screaming but cannot.

Just an observation.

I am getting very VERY STRESSED!!!

ARGH!!!

I have a non-existent holiday booked from 9am in the morning to 9pm at night by a three-day acapella camp, I have one project to present and another one to submit next week, and 3 bloody mid-term exams to study for.

I haven't touched my Chinese and Econs texts ever since I got them. As for math... don't even talk about it. I took the WHOLE of the ONE pathetic (holi)DAY to finish ONE tutorial. I'm two tutorials behind and my test is next week.

Speaking of tutorials, I have one econs, one lit, three maths and one eng tutorial to complete, aside from all the project work essay/presentation/research work.

On top of everything I have a humongous, horrifically painful ulcer that hurts even more acutely when I move any facial muscle.

I still have to sing and talk for the next two days of camp. Ouch ouch OUCH. *winces* Oh, and must attend make-up tutorial/lecture during my hols too.

I'm also developing a sore throat, either from last sat's lousy-singing-with-inadequate-support-hence-unnecessary-throat-strain, or simply from pure stress. [Check out next week's timetable-- Tues: Chi test, Wed: Calculus test, Thurs: Lit presentation, Fri: Eng proj deadline, Sat: Econs test.

No breathing there. If I'm absent from choir next saturday don't ask why. Prob died of suffocation, or something.

I'm gonna apply for S/U option for maths. Really. Really. ...... right?

Crrraaaap lar =`(

Am not usually one who posts lyrics up as an entry unless I got a lot to say about it... but I've got this song in my head this afternoon and it kinda occured to me that it might apply to a certain someone I know =) So girl, this song is for you... hope you'll feel much better soon k?

任贤齐-心太软

你总是心太软心太软
独自一个人流泪到天亮
你无怨无悔的爱着那个人
我知道你根本没那么坚强

你总是心太软心太软
把所有问题都自己扛
相爱总是简单相处太难
不是你的就别再勉强

夜深了你还不想睡
你还在想着他吗
你这样痴情到底累不累
明知他不会回来安慰

只不过想好好爱一个人
可惜他无法给你满分
多余的牺牲他不懂心疼
你应该不会只想做个好人

喔，算了吧就这样忘了吧
该放就放再想也没有用
傻傻等待他也不会回来
你总该为自己想想未来

你总是心太软心太软
把所有问题都自己扛
相爱总是简单相处太难
不是你的就别再勉强

Hee.. sample wallpaper that I did outta a sudden whim *shrugs* It's actually supposed to be much clearer than this but blurred when converted to JPEG... but it's still nice right? =P 

*grumbles* The first time I visit the maths website to download stuff and it shuts down all my internet explorer windows. More than once. Wei! I need Tutorial 3 solutions! I don't understand the logic behind all these continuity thing-things for nuts! Wei! Work, you silly website~

*hangs*

...........

*resigned* Okay. Fine. Oh, I updated my friendster profile. And added more friends. Go add me~ And add testimonials. (shameless self-advertisement. What were you doing updating profiles when you ought to be doing homework, hmm?) No. Don't ask.

Increasingly crappy entries, hmm? Cannot help it. Amount of crap is proportional to number of people reading my entries. You don't expect me to write in my deeep darrk secrets for all to see, right? (hmm? Charm has deep dark secrets?) Maybe yes, maybe not. *shrugs* Your guess? And then of course there is always an inclination to scold something--or someone--upside down but it's not nice to do so when people are staring, so I shall be politically correct. Relatively. *nods*

K. Time off~ Blog again another time...

I'm lovin' (l)it!

Absurdist lit is fun. Extremely so. Bwahahahaha.

But it does have it's head-cracking moments. I would have to be idiotic and post a psychoanalytic view of rhinoceroses, which happened to turn out topsy-turvy from the correct reading -_- Had my lit lecturer asking me to 'sort it out again, please', and subsequently, after posting up the corrected version with much much pondering, have him ask someone to start another new thread on "is not the desire itself the Real of the problem? Or to put this differently, even if no one changes into a rhinoceros, shouldn't rhinoceritis already be a traumatic experience for Berenger in his world? How then may we speak of Berenger's "growth" in psychoanalytic terms?"

Ouch ouch ouch. Charm, you are so looking for trouble.

But, being the stubborn creature that I am, I'm determined to insist that it is still a fascinating subject. Hohoho. But I shall think carefully before posting controversial comments next time. And hmm. When we actually get used to our lecturer he's actually not bad. Extremely corny, but he is pretty funny, and he does know what he's doing--tutorials and forum discussions get really interesting~! I just wish he wouldn't speed like mad in the last ten minutes of his lecture and do a diminuendo in his last sentence like he's ending a song -_- And I like my lit project group =) Whoa~ New obsession with Lit. Or maybe just absurdist theatre. Everything abstract and extraordinary yet still extremely related. Mm.

Had my first acapella prac yesterday... fun fun! Did about one and a half songs and combined them... everything's pretty quickly paced and we had to do a fair bit of sight reading while they ran thru with us... but I like it this way =) There's a sense of achievement when we finally combine after very brief sectionals. Long way to go still but I'm glad to be back singing again~!

And to Da~ Hope you are much better now... maybe next prac we can have dinner together with Cyn, if it's not too late? Please don't be so workaholic liao lar~

*nods* Okay. That's about all for now. Be back again soon I guess.

Bored. And you know what you do when you get bored? Start pointing fingers at everybody.

You you you and YOU *points* Leave notes~! *points to tagboard*

Hooray. Charm has achieved a brand new level of insanity. Let's hope it doesn't have anything to do with her undone calculus tutorials and her inability to understand tutorS with heavy accents. Especially when it comes to one of her more favoured subjects.

And even if it is, it's no reason why no one is leaving notes. =) Go on~ It doesn't even need to sound relevant.

Am going off to bang my head on the calculus textbook. Meanwhile take care and stay sane -_-

Someone has been an absolute idiot today by forgetting to bring her file or even her lit book to study while waiting for her dear friend to finish her tutorial. And despite her lit tutor's declarations that smart students should go to the library out of interest to go do some readings or post meaningful thoughts on IVLE, yours truly is still slacking around in the computer lab. Bah. So much for attempting to attain muggerism.

But, but, but! Yours truly is doing her literature research online, and reading thought-provoking lit ideas in the forum, (hence being rather good, so to speak), and realising that there are many smart people in the world, most of whom must have congregated around her in great masses recently. Which is rather disturbing, but no matter. Lit is a fascinating subject, all the more so when people throw out ideas that have never crossed your mind before. I just have to learn how to be less mild and ignorably accepting, I guess. Too much of Rhino mentality... but then again two years of Gothic and the endless questioning and challenging of the status quo and here I am, still quite intact, still relatively comfy in-her-own-world mode... There's only so much of character you can change, huh? *shrugs*

Irony of the Year is still in progress and I wonder at its outcome. Won't get to know until tonight? But perhaps it will come back to a full cycle. And when all is over some shall be revealed to the other parties involved and I shall laugh myself crazy again like I did the first time I heard it.

Life is such a big irony.

No, I'm not obsessed. I have just developed a liking for that word after... well, after the Big Irony. Bwahaha.

More news later. For now it shall be just more Lit. Perhaps tonight it will be more on sing-sing-singing~ IF I write tonight, that is.

Love singing, love lit, love worrrrds. Ahhh... manipulative nuisances. How our entire life revolves around language, and how language defines our individualism, and restricts them all into one common identity.

How uncanny, how ironic.

Life is a big big irony.

But hey. Since everyone already knows that it's a meaningless existence, anyhow, we might as well chuck the stress and the unnecessary distraught and enjoy what we have. Yes, there goes the screwed up interpretation of philosophical existentialism.

It's 12.22am now and I'm at the risk of sounding really senseless again, but no matter. At this time of the day, I don't have the energy to explain or justify myself. Yay~

Strangely exhilarated. Overdose of adsurdist lit (woohoo! exhilaration! Rhinoceros is making sense! we are all rhinoceroses!) and humming with delight at a promise of a new vocal adventure. Oh, to sing again. But it's busy busy. I'll go crazy juggling the two -nances.

Hoho. 8am lect tmr. 6am the alarm rings. Good luck, Charm. And good night =)