New Year Post

Browsing through friends' blogs do help to spark a bit of inspiration when I hit a blog-block (try saying this quickly ten times) A sudden inclination towards wistfulness, and a twinge of... hmm, unexplainable mix of emotions, blending nostalgia and melancholy and pensiveness and wistful wondering.

I haven't written long lyrical entries in blogger for a long time, because I was... unable to write so, somehow. Sitting before the computer, tapping the keyboard thoughtfully in absolute silence, coaxing out thoughts and feelings... would feel as though there were things that truly mattered. Browsing old handwritten entries in my notebook diary almost made me regret this gap-- there is so much of every passing moment of my life that I do want to take down and keep as part of myself, like capturing a sliver of time that can replay itself over, and not fade unbidden, unnoted.

The morning of 1st January was spent with a migraine (haha, what a start to a new year), which dragged itself out through most of the afternoon. Recovered in time to catch sunset, though, and the evening was beautiful, if fleeting =)

Which brings me back to the original train of thought.

Is it goodbye 2006 already?

I am not quite so fond of goodbyes really, and I'm sitting at the edge of time thinking that this is a year I'll miss, and that I would have wanted to gathered 2006 up in my arms for a fond embrace before letting it pass into mere memory, but like something airy and fluid and quite quite intangible, time slips past your fingers and fades into history.

Am naturally prone to nostalgia, although enough time has passed for me to learn not to pine for what has gone before, (the transition from St Nicks to NY was an awfully icky one, and one so hard to get accustomed to, because nothing then could compare to SN--but that's a story in itself, and I've grown to miss NY so, too...) but to live in a present that must be cherished before it is gone. And how time is flying =(

I had loved 2006, with its ups and downs and its everything. Odd, really. It's only Year 2 Sem 2 and then Year 3 Sem 1, but throw in the hols with work and VOII and handover and aca champs and aca fest and carolling and it seems like ages and ages. With every new event you learn a little something, and oh, what I have learnt in so short a twelve-month! I flip through my written diary and track my concerns, my little lessons and my thoughts, my reactions and my perceptions, and within them I find enough change to startle myself.

Or not so much.

Dug this up from just a lil more than a year ago:

Where have you gone, these feeling entries of mine? Wilt thou come forth again, disregarding the growing pairs of eyes upon you, or will you be carefully dressed in words that say little, and feel even less? And will the memories fail to be significant because they are not lovingly recorded, full and beautiful in their sincerity while simple in language? Will you stumble out awkwardly, like the writer who strings you together, worrying about who you may offend, or how much you will be undervalued, whether you will be like everyone else-- the glizty photos, the necessary tinge of humour, the diplomatically correct speeches, the laughter without the tears, the smile without the wistfulness, the hope without the fears? The perfunctory updates: I exist because I tell you so, the quick flashes of moments that linger not, come, touch and go, breathless, mundane, and careless, without heart?
30 Dec 2005

I think my perspective on writing hasn't changed that much really, even as the style had.

So, (according to blogger, at least) in 2006 I--

- Wore contacts for the first time
- Held the WTF (Weijin-Tim Farewell)
- Spent 1,985 points on my Romanticism module
- Wrote a short story, inspired by a flash of anger over something I cannot recall...
- Jumped on the myheritage.com> bandwagon
- Starred in my Singapore Studies film project as a rebellious young teenager, complete with heavy eyeliner and purple lip gloss *cringe*
- Got my first baluku
- Reso had our second major concert in VOii
- Had a memorable work experience
- Learnt the importance of listening
- Reso-OOPs won the National A cappella Championships! :)
- Participated in Acafest
- Had my 21st birthday!
- Had a super stressful but deeply rewarding semester in terms of modules taken
- Watched Swingles, M-Pact and Rockapella =)
- Chlamp, carolling and KL trip

June/July had swung between long dreary periods of loneliness and crazy flurry of activities. I don't recall if I have mentioned the long, stretched out hours at work totally alone and isolated at my desk, with no radio or internet or lunch partners or other forms of human connection for extended periods (save for the Thursdays when Peggy comes, oh joy) But amidst all that I did learn a lot from Cindy and Peggy =) Not something which I'd forget anytime soon.

On top of that was VOii and aca champs and aca fest. Very energy consuming, and admittably rocky for a while, stuff that sent my head spinning and scrambled certain ideals somewhat, but well, reality check is good. And acafest showcased groups that were way impressive, lar =)

Oh yes, am I glad that I took The Body and Feminism after all the pondering and coin-flipping (I didn't decide in favour of the coin *grins*) Love love love all the modules and the texts. Semester was assignment-packed but rewarding all the same =)

And carolling was a blast =) It's a lot of fun singing with the younger batches, and there's so much more to learn than you could ever expect, the spirited enthusiasm and the delight of singing without the hovering, pressing anxiety... singing for the kids, for Christmas, in exchange for a little more laughter and cheer for all.

Pretty fruitful year altogether, I think =)

So thank you, to my family most of all, and my dearest friends. Char, Agl, Wen... Gill, Yeesh, Da... Shell... OOPs, Reso, SC girls (wei! we haven't met for like how long?), lit-mates, and lit profs, too... Here's wishing you all a beautifully fulfilling 2007, too!