Work updates

Charm is kinda stressed up, having started work only but briefly but already feeling like crap on day one... Day three, which was a Monday, went all right actually, except that a migraine began to set in in the closing hours of work, and built up to an awful loud demanding war within her head, so that after her 13-hour day she shut herself in the bathroom and shuddered I need to stop, I need a break, I don't want to continue anymore anymore anymore and cried so furiously because she was so drained and because it hurt so much and because the following month looked like hell at that moment in time. Which is bad because this sudden lapse of control made her even more angry with herself, because she is not supposed to be so ill just because she had extended intensive hours, because she made her mum worry again, and because, wah lao, how can she even cry in the first place? So silly, so so silly...

Crying would be darn therapeutic when you're not having a runny nose, so that you had to sniff and blow your nose at every alternate breath you take. Gave up crying in less than five minutes because I was so peeved at having to blow my nose over and over. Very disruptive. Which made me even more pissed off because wah lao, I cannot even cry in peace. How to achieve catharsis like that? (But then I recovered from my week-long blocked-nosed syndrome the following day, so... oh well.)

I need to put a damper pedal on my energy expenditure and run on low-to-average cheerfulness so that I still have leftover bounce at the end of the day. It's sickening how quickly happy-energy drains into moping misery on a bad work day, especially when boss arrives in her Dark Haze of Negative Vibes and your morning greeting dies in your throat, and when she starts to label drafts with mistakes as f**king drawings and certain people as bloody idiots and asks me to check what the hell the person on the other end of the phone wants and roars at all her employees and slams doors and objects on her table then departs in a hurricane storm of rumbling anger (repeat cycle). At least, that was the reception I got on day one and two, which is why, with the perm staff having officially resigned after day 2, I spent day 3 and 4 perched on the edge of my chair waiting for my turn to be yelled at, springing up to deliver myself to the room door the moment she raises her voice in angry frustration.

But she is all right really, temper aside. And her job is stressful, so it's understandable... I guess.

I just need to adjust accordingly lar. And not flare up like a nervous wreck when my mum adopts the same tone of address that my boss uses and lash out in a sudden outburst of defensiveness to compensate for the usual lack thereof. And then feel bad. Crap, this is driving me nuts. I need to fix this odd fluctuation of emotions... it's just temp work, for goodness sake, Charm, and it's not like you've never worked before. Although things does seem to get better now with gradually more knowns and less unknowns each day, so I get a firmer sense of where and how to tread.

I need more energy for Reso pracs... I don't like turning up stoned and listless =( And I need more time to prac choreo and revise scores, too, and for admin stuff that now is partially pushed to an increasingly kan cheong Cheryl cos I'm not available to do stuff during office hours. AAHHHHH. Sorry girl, bad timing =S

Speaking of which, I was looking for angsty songs to load into my mp3 player (for catharsis on bad days, but then I realised that save for Bring Me To Life I have no angsty rock songs in my playlist), but the Bring Me To Life I uploaded turned out to be a recent OOP version. *grins* Takes a fair bit of effort to restrain myself from laughing on the train at Jeremy's very expressive "Wake me urrrp! Can't wake urrrp!" and the memory of Derek's.. erm... scuba-diving escapades. Hahahahahahhaa... We should really video-cam a random OOP prac, whether for reliving of fond memories in future, for laughing ourselves silly, or for blackmail =P

And ehhh, so many people haven't done the nice fun tag yet... I've got a tag pending for "5 most pleasuable things in life", but I'll do that at a more pleasurable time, lar...

Okay, Time's up. Till the next time, take good care and see you all! Update your blogs people, and leave notes, hor...