You know, things are making a lot more sense now, somehow.

*sigh* How important it is to listen, to feel, to ask the right questions, and then, with that sudden dawning of realisation and relief, find that you're not alone in feeling the same way.

For all the fondness I have in putting thoughts into words, sometimes even what I feel lie just beyond my boundaries of perception.

Is it better to lose your temper outright, I wonder, than to retreat into a glowering simmering silence, where the meaning of your own anger is lost upon you? It's a bad habit I know, but I'm so not used to articulating my feelings, that when I'm pissed off I'd withdraw into stony silence, because I've been brought up with years of tested and proven testimonies that I never win arguments, so it is wise to not start arguments, and not to continue one that's threatening to start. Blah.

And the second annoying realisation, of course, is that everytime I get irritated with someone, I will, quite naturally, put the blame on myself first, instead. Which doesn't really solve the problem, now to come to think of it. Maybe sometimes it isn't my fault for wanting to glower and snap at someone, and maybe I don't have to hold back.

So much for spontaneity Charm. And with your flare of annoyance rudely shoved away and dismissed as such, the source of the problem becomes obscured, totally, and you're left wondering why the heck things seem so wrong, but you cannot put your finger on anything. How silly.

Thank goodness for friends who are human enough to flare up once in a while, so that I can determine that I'm not being unnecessarily sensitive, or something. =)